The Tale of Random
by DennyTribal
Summary: Beware this is a crackfic dedicated to my dear friend Needle of Rain. You've been warned! So no flames! It's not ment to make so much sense. XD  Rating is M due a certain line that isn't good for young ones to learn, SPOILERS TOO


**NOTE: This is a crackfic which means: OOCness, the story makes no sense whatsoever. Pretty much a crackfic. You've been warned.**

**Me: Hellu everyone! This is a short crack story dedicated to my pal Needle of Rain. I came up with this story thanks to our randomly chats we have~ About a certain room XD**

**Oh and "Denny" in this story is the actually me xD Not my OC ok? And Needle is Needle of Rain~**

**btw: Guess who we fangirl on a lot XD So yeah Some MithosxNeedle (never thought I would write that XD) And some slight Denny(me)xKratos XD Hooray for fangirlsness! And maybe some other pairing..**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tos or tos2 in anyway. I only owns this story.**

**Spoiler warning! And M rated for language..**

**And many thank you to my sister Rinnu500 who helped me with the spelling in this one c: And the tips ^^**

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><p>Denny and Needle decided that they would camp for the night as the sun began to disappear beyond the horizon. The two quickly packed up all their belongings and began putting up a fire in the middle. A bit after them came Lloyd, Zelos, Aster, Emil, Ratatosk (in Emil form), Richter, Kratos, Mithos, Yuan, Raine and Genis. They all had been pretty much forced to go with the two girls. The rest of the group put their tents up and sat down at the fire.<p>

Denny quickly took up one of her beloved coca colas and placed the bottle at her lips taking a zip as she sat down very close to Kratos. Needle placed herself beside Mithos who read a book he got from Genis the other day.

As the sun let the moon out and the sky turned dark blue from a pink-orange tone, Denny decided to tell the group a story. She placed herself in Kratos lap, ignoring the confused looks from the angel. **(1)** Mithos got embraced by Needle who refused to let him go. The blonde half elf gave his teacher** (****2)** a confused stare, but the older man just gave him a *I-Don't-Know* face as a reply.

"Once upon a time there was this..." Silence. "DOOR!" Confused looks. "You're supposed to be scared now!" Denny sighed before continuing. "Anyway, this door led to a horrific room. This room is known as Needle's brother's room, NBR for short. Anyway in this room there exists a horrible curse and a monster who loves fresh human blood! But sometimes it's nice and might spare you the most of your body. Think of the feeling of your leg being ripped off, the blood covering the floor... Your blood.. Wouldn't that be pretty scary? Mwhehehheheh!" Denny grinned evil scaring Genis who hid behind his sister and Emil who hid behind Richter.

As the two of them whimpered in fear, Aster (who is supposed to be dead) stood up staring Denny in the eye.

"Richter's cooking is scarier than that!" The blonde spat at the redhead. Richter was not amused. Neither was Denny.

"So... Aster." She began staring him in the eye. "You don't think this room is scary do you?" Denny smiled sweetly before giving him a death glare, which could probably really kill you. "Then why don't you visit it?" She growled.

"I can take you there." Needle smiled as she nuzzled Mithos's neck.

"Okay but I won't be scared." Aster spoke in a much more sweeter and nice tone.

"I think he's a schizophrenic." Denny whispered to Needle who nodded.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Aster." Richter spoke as he watched the boy sit down beside him again. On his other side was Ratatosk who appeared to have fainted suddenly.

This story are not ment to make sense.

"Aww come on R-man~ Are you scared~?" Aster replied.

"Would you stop calling me that silly nickname."

"You're mean." Aster pouted.

"You're dead."

"And you're a red head! It rhymed~"

Richter facepalmed.

"Hey! What's wrong with redheads?" Denny exclaimed as she was one herself. "Zelos is one. My husband **(3) **is one and Needle is one!" Denny growled.

Aster quickly took out a paper and pencil from his backpack scribbling down some words.

_Note__ to self: Don't make redheads angry. They're scary._

Then he hid with Emil.

"Um, sis... She seems kind of insane." Genis whispered to Raine who agreed.

"Oh Genis~ We are Insane~!" Needle answered grinning.

"I wanna go home..." The silver-haired half elf sobbed.

Denny decided to ignore the matter for now as she took her bottle of coca cola again.. Or she was going to. Yuan had taken the coca cola bottle and had drunk all of it. Denny saw the blue haired with her coca cola in his hand. Never drink Denny's cola...

"YOU!" She growled getting a confused look from Yuan.

She stood up walking towards him. Kratos facepalmed as he saw what his blue-haired friend had done. Even Kratos had paid the price for drinking one of Denny's coca colas once. And it was not a pleasant punishment he had gotten. Trust me when I say that not even angels can resist the pain when you kick them between their legs...

Anyway Denny forced Yuan to come with her. As the two vanished in the shadows, the group who was left at the tent could hear screams from a certain Yuan. As Denny came back with a pretty pained Yuan she told everyone it was time to go to bed.

Denny sat down at a tree near Richter's and the three blondes' **(4) **tent. Kratos was forced to sit at the tree as well. Mithos and Needle as well came to the tree. The four sat there for a while before the angel and half elf slowly drifted away into sleep. As the two fell asleep, Denny quickly got bored as Kratos had fallen asleep and decided to walk around the camp site. Needle had fallen asleep in Mithos's arms so Denny sneaked her way down so she wouldn't wake the cute little couple up.

As Denny walked around the silent camp she actually opened everyone's tents to see what they did. To her disappointment everyone was asleep. That meant no yaoi.

"Aww... AH!" Denny fell down on the ground. She had hit something with her foot as she had proceeded her way towards Richter's tent. She noticed when she sat up that Ratatosk laid passed out on the ground.

"Squirrly wakey wakey~" She spoke as she poked him.

"Would you stop?" The squirrel **(5)**... I mean Ratatosk, mumbled irritated.

"Nope~ Poke poke poke.." Denny continued poking him.

"Stop it!" Ratatosk exclaimed as he growled with madness.

"You're a bad Squirrly." Denny pouted. Ratatosk just glared at her before turning his head towards a certain Emil who came out from Richter's tent screaming and crying like mad.

"Emil calm down already!" Aster yelled at him as he came out from the tent as well chasing the other blonde.

"What in the world of mana is going on?" Denny asked curious.

"A bug came into our tent and Emil got scared." Aster spoke holding the little critter in his hand.

"But it wanted to eat me!" The green eyed boy sobbed.

"That's Richter's job." Aster spoke making everyone out there look big eyed at him. Well except Denny who knew what he meant by that.

"What do you mean?" Richter asked as he walked out from the tent as well.

"Hehehe... I kinda.. Like have started to read like Vore **(6)** stories containing you and Emil or you and Aster." Denny laughed nervously.

"Vore?" Richter asked. Denny brought out her magical laptop and opened a page and showed Richter just exactly what she meant. The redhead read through it all..

"This is just... I.. I would never do... something like that." Richter quickly gave the laptop back to Denny before rushing to closest bush to puke.

"In my defense of the matter it's just like My little pony! It's cursed! Once you start watching it you're stuck!"

Anyway. At this time everyone was awake and stepped out of their tents. One in particular was very mad.

Raine.

"And to the left we have a very pissed of half elf who is soon to chase Richter and the three blondes to the other side of the planet." Denny spoke like she was a guide of some sort.

"Why would she chase us?" Ratatosk asked confused.

"Well since you all called Raine an ugly fat whore who should totally screw a goat!" Denny chirped.

"YOU SAID WHAT!" The half elf growled.

"WE SAID WHAT!" The four exclaimed.

It took Raine five seconds to get hold of a frying pan and rush after the four who were now running for their life. Denny rolled on the ground laughing. Genis stood with his jaw dropped, Zelos would promise himself never ever to date Raine. Mithos stared in awe with Needle still in his arms who were also laughing. Kratos mumbled something about periods. Yuan had fled the scene when he got the chance. And Lloyd just went back to bed.

So morning came as everybody had went back to bed. Raine and the four had gotten back some hours later. The four had bruises and black eyes and some minor cuts on them. And a broken bone or two. The frying pan was pretty messed up after the beating too. Denny could have sworn she had seen blood on it too.

Aster scribbled another line on his paper.

_Never get on the bad side with Denny as she can make half elf going mad at you. That's scary too. _

Ratatosk had to be carried by Richter as the group departed from the camp site. Raine had broken a rib or two on the poor summon spirit.

"So Hunnies." Zelos started as he looked at Needle and Denny. "How come I haven't gotten any lines?" The red head spoke hurt.

"Lloyd hasn't gotten any either and he's not complaining." Denny spoke back.

"Not that he can. I think we forgot him at the camp." Needle answered.

What Needle said was true. Lloyd slept happily in his tent back at the campsite not knowing that the others had walked away.

"Well that can't be good. I just forgot my steph-son. Hope you don't take it that bad Kratos." Denny smiled as the taller man.

"Steph-son?" Kratos asked confused.

"Yeah. Wouldn't he be when I married you?"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah I kinda got you drunk and married you a while ago. I have papers on it if you wanna see."

"You can't marry me when I'm married!" Kratos exclaimed wondering if the girl truly was beyond insane.

"Well you're not married to Anna anymore. We made a trade!" Denny chirped. (Ohh Needle you could probably guess what the "trade" is as I've talked about it before )

"What's the trade then?" Mithos asked. Denny whispered it to him, which led to that the blonde half elf started to laugh his ass of. Not literally guys. That would have been awkward.

"What!" Kratos yelled.

"It's so.. Hahahahah! Oh god.." Mithos laughed.

"What did you trade me for?" Kratos spoke as he stopped Denny from walking any further.

"Not sure you would want to know. It could totally ruin your honor."

"Tell. Me. Now." The angel demanded.

"Pink glitter shoes." The redheaded girl answered.

Silence.

"..."

"Told you it would ruin your honor. And now the whole group knows about it!" Denny smirked hugging Kratos.

He swore to himself he would eliminate every single pink glittery shoe there ever was. And of course the tomatoes. ( NOT THE TOMATOES D: - my sis's comment not mine.. )

"That's gotta hurt man." Zelos spoke breaking out in another laugh. Ratatosk kept silent as it hurt when he laughed but couldn't help but to smirk in enjoyment of the scene. The other three and Raine did as well laugh.

He added them too, to the eliminating list.

"Calm down. Take it like a man." Denny scolded him before jumping up on his back. "Now carry me to that house over there."

"Is this the house we're going to?" Mithos asked as they arrived at the door.

"Yep!" Needle chirped opening the door. Everyone stepped inside following Needle to a door.

"So this is the NBR?" Raine asked.

"You got it!" Needle smirked. "So who's going first?"

"I'll do it." the "cocky" Aster spoke up as he opened the door watching it's insides. "This is just a normal room. Pfft. It's not scary at all just like I said." Aster suddenly got pushed into the room and Denny slammed the door shut, separating Aster from the group.

"Remember I can't make any promises you'll survive!" Needle spoke from the outside.

Aster walked further in looking around the room. Nothing. There was nothing scary in this room.

Or so he thought.

As a shadow suddenly jumped in front of him he yelled in shock before running back to the door. Before anyone knew it he came out from the door ramming Emil who landed down on the ground with Aster on top. (Fanservice woot!)

"To the right we have some EmilxAster folks. Please don't be loud as it can scare them." Denny once again spoke in her guide voice. Both she and Needle cracked up after it.

"It's not fun!" Aster exclaimed as he stood up watching the two girls laugh.

"So Aster what did you see in there?" Richter asked.

"A shadow tried to attack me."

"Ohh~ That must be the monster!" Needle exclaimed. The others in the group just stared at her.

"If you don't believe me why don't go and see for yourself?" Aster pouted as the others didn't seem to believe this ridiculous room.

So they went inside. Well. Some of them. Denny made sure that Ratatosk (He was a bit handicapped at the time being) Genis, Raine, Kratos and Mithos didn't. For the rest they were somewhat pushed inside the room. Aster as well.

And then she closed the door and walked away with the others.

A week passed and for those who didn't walk into the room sat in the garden of Zelos's big mansion drinking some tea and cola and whatever they pleased. The others were still to be found.

"So. I do wonder when they'll get back. " Denny spoke taking a zip of her cola.

"I suppose they got lost in there." Kratos replied having a cup of tea.

"How come you spared us three?" Genis asked as he watched both Raine and Ratatosk.

"Easy~ Ratty because he was pretty much handicapped. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I sent a very hurt person in there! And you two, since Raine would probably kill me if I sent you in. And she wouldn't allow herself to be sent in leaving you with us..." Denny laughed nervously as Raine glared at her.

"Excuse me!" A maid from Zelos's mansion came out from the back door.

"Is there a problem?" Denny asked.

"Zelos and the others have returned and.." The maid giggled.

"Are they alive to begin with?" Mithos asked.

"Yes. However... " The maid broke out in laughter.

The five rushed their way to the hallway where the others stood. As they saw the state of them all they began laughing. Every five of them.

"You should see yourself!" Needle laughed pointing at Zelos to begin with. His hair was really short. Really SHORT. The redhead began crying.

"My hair is forever ruined!" He sobbed rushing to his bedroom.

"At least it was just your hair. It'll grow out again." Richter sighed.

"Richter is that... breasts?" Ratatosk asked. Richter blushed like mad. "You've turned into a girl!" Ratatosk fell down laughing.

"..."

"Oh my gosh!" Denny squealed as she saw Emil and Aster. The two of them had big cuddly black wolf ears and tails. "You look soooooo cute!" The two blushed. However they didn't talk at all.

"Is there something wrong?" Kratos asked the two. The two whined in response.

"They can't speak like humans." Richter began. "All they do now is bark, howls or whines like wolves." The blondes whined again in sadness.

"It seems you all are intact at least. Except the um.. changes.. Oh well it can't be worse." Denny giggled.

"You should probably know that umm.." Richter sweatdropped.

"What?"

"Lloyd found us... And well...He also had some side effects.."

"Is it worse than what you all got?" Needle asked.

"I wouldn't say that... Let's just say that Denny and Kratos have some _lovely _nights ahead of them."

Denny did not like how Richter said _lovely_.

"Where is he then?" Kratos asked.

"Emil could you show them Lloyd please?" Richter asked. Emil nodded as he went outside.

"Noishe is currently watching him outside." Richter spoke scratching _her_ head.

Emil came back with Lloyd. Kratos was speechless. Denny froze in shock. Needle just stared with the rest.

"Papa!" The little 2 year old Lloyd giggled happily as he stumbled his way to his father when Emil had putted him down on the floor.

"My son.. did he just get turned back to his 2 year old self?" Kratos couldn't believe his eyes.

"By the way. I think he needs to change his diaper." With that Richter and the blondes including Ratatosk went upstairs to see if Zelos was still in despair over his hair.

"We shall just leave you three alone now." Needle spoke as she and Mithos ran upstairs too followed by Raine and Genis.

"Well then. Here." Kratos placed the boy in Denny's arms. The girl who now was not shocked anymore stared at Kratos in confusion.

"This is payback for trading me with shoes. Go ahead and change him. I'll wait for you upstairs." Kratos grinned as he walked upstairs to.

"You got to be kidding me..." Denny watched the toddler in her arms who stared at her big eyed. "Uh you aren't going to cry right?" Denny spoke nervously. She could not handle cries from small children..

"Mama!" The toddler giggled, surprising Denny.

"Aww. You're so adorable!" Denny smiled. "Oh well. I suppose I should change that diaper of yours now and then give your father a lesson he'll never forget." The redhead grinned walking to the bathroom with Lloyd who giggled some more.

Upstairs Kratos felt that something bad was going to happen to him. Oh boy was he right...

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><p><strong>The end.. XD Nah not really. If Needle wants me to continue this I'm more than happy to do so as I've currently have writers block for my other story...<strong>

**Besides.. It seems I have a son now XD (And Needle You are more than welcome to suggest what you and Mithos would do. :3 I wanted to write more about you and Mithos. However I wasn't sure what you two would like to do XD)**

**Anyway. NO FLAMES (I'll ignore them anyway). This is a crack fic. ****So it's not meant to make sense~**

**Simple Aswers to the (1) ect**

**(1)Kratos is an angel thanks to his cruxis crystal.**

**(2)Kratos also was Mithos's teacher. **

**(3)If you haven't figured it out by now, Denny was referring to Kratos.**

**(4)The three blondes is: Aster, Emil and Ratatosk**

**(5)Ratatosk is the name of a squirrel from a mythology. I think it's the nordic or something XD**

**(6)Vore is... Pretty much someone eating someone in diffrent ways. I'm not going to say more than that as it's not good for kids to acutally read ^^'**


End file.
